British Bread Golf Open 2023

Football, cricket, tennis, rugby, badminton, squash to mention a few: the UK has pioneered a number of sports over the years. But for us in the 21st century, developments have slowed to a crawl.

It would take a major innovation to galvanise the British sporting world, and it wasn’t until 2012 until sports fans got what they had been crying out for. While the nation rallied around its third Olympics roughly 16 miles away, Kingston upon Thames saw the creation of an entirely new sport. Bread Golf, and a league to go with it: the British Bread Golf Open.

(A big thank you to Robin and the rest of The Community Brain team for organising both this, and a number of other wonderfully silly local events in the name of charity. Kingston would be a far more boring place without you!

The British Bread Golf Open is held annually in Autumn, alongside the River Thames. This water hazard is integral to the competition as unlike traditional golf there is only one hole: a bucket mounted at an angle in a small boat mowed in the centre of the capital's waterway.

Unlike other sporting events in Kingston upon Thames, the town does not shut down to accommodate the breadheads of the BBGO, with tourist paddle steamers and leisure craft alike traversing the watery fairway. It is customary to stop play and wave at each passerby, as is the case with all events on the Community Brain’s calendar, with high-viz-clad enforcers ensuring a strict adherence to the tradition. There is no quarter spared for those who moor up alongside the hole however, who must risk life and limb for their front-row seats.

Some crews are enticed off their chartered route by the siren song of bread golf, abandoning the rowers under their watch.

Like any spectator sport, many are quick to capitalise.

'A fine white mist.' The good can accommodate a brittle ball; the great avoid them entirely.

While controversial, this year's poor doughball integrity arguably brought more into the sport.

Regulation dictates the doughballs are baked until hard before being provided to competitors in sets of three. There are differing levels of superstition amongst the sport’s ranks, with some going to great lengths to select only the finest carbohydrates for their attempts. Less discerning bread golfers can sometimes inadvertently end up with fragile balls, demanding a chip stroke versus the typical drive to achieve any sort of distance.

Robin Hutchinson MBE, one of The Community Brain's Directors.

The Green Jacket, the Yellow Jersey of the bread golf world.

A marshal performs the customary 'yell and wave' for a passing vessel, the Princess Freda, a former Dunkirk 'little ship'.

While none of the nearly 30 competitors reached the target boat, it is easy to say that this year’s British Bread Golf Open was a runaway success when it came to raising money for Creative Youth, a Kingston-based charity who, in their own words, “enable young people to get involved in innovative, original and ambitious creative projects.”

Well done to all those who competed at this year’s open, and to Community Brain’s team of volunteers and their endless work towards these local events.

Waving to passing boats is crucial to good sportsmanship.

Tactics and technique are hotly-debated throughout the competition.

Curious spectators find all manner of vantage points to watch the event from.

Careless shots can still have spectacular results.

Even the best form can be thwarted by poor ball choice.

Robin Hutchinson, the Director of The Community Brain, tees off.

Ollie G. Monk

British Bread Golf Open 2023